Lovely Lovies

I just had to share this video I saw yesterday, I've been thinking about it ever since.

The video is about a little boy who lost his lovey, affectionately named 'Ah-Ah', many years earlier on a camping trip with his family. The video explains how his mother randomly searched for 'blue monkey' three years later and managed, somehow, to discover what appeared to be Ah-Ah. She had it shipped to her and her husband taped their son's reaction to rediscovering something so precious.

I dare you not to cry.

This video reminded me of something I chose to do earlier than most - introduce a lovey - to my infants. As soon as N and B could reach and grasp something they were laid to rest with something to help comfort them in times of need.

N's lovey is named Blue. A bunny of small stature, Blue's a little more brown than blue these days, but he's oh so special to my son. I once searched all over the place for a second Blue (in similar fashion to the mom's story in the video) but I never did find an exact replica. I did overspend on what I thought was a replacement, but sadly N knew it wasn't Blue, so Donny became another 'friend' to sleep with, but not a replacement.

B's lovey is named Ya-Ya. We had initially called her Lolly, a tribute to my favourite lovey growing up. My dear neighbour and long-time family friend bought Ya-Ya for B when she was born simply because it reminded her of my Lolly doll. My neighbour was also so amazing that once she knew B loved her Ya-Ya, she purchased a SECOND one for me. I rotate them out regularly, the second Ya-Ya stays hidden in her closet in case of emergency. Such a great lesson learned the second child around!

Lovies are a quintessential part of childhood, and in our house a part of infancy as well. I know all the warnings and stories about removing toys from infant sleeping areas, but seriously, once a baby can lift its head and hold something, how nice to offer them an instant support tool when they wake up for a midnight feeding or early in the morning.

Here's a photo of B with Ya-Ya and N with Blue.


A photo from our spring 2012 vacation - B doesn't use a soother anymore but Ya-Ya and Blue remain!



Just one more small joy in parenting. Lovely lovies.

Hummingbird makes three, children that is.

It's been an interesting summer.

Apart from my day-to-day life being home with my kids, I've been formalizing my skills into a little business, something more catchy than "I can help" and something less formal than advertisements and networking events.

It all began one night when I explained to my husband that I wanted (and needed) business cards, but that I didn't want to have my gmail address on them. It seemed borderline cheesy to me. "You need to own a URL in order to have a legitimate email address." Huh. A web site? I wasn't really planning to 'go there' just yet, but as with most things in life, a business card became a slippery slope....

I spent weeks agonizing over a name for my business. Having arbitrarily called it PI Creative Solutions, primarily for the purposes of invoicing, I wasn't particularly keen on continuing with such a, well, boring name. I looked to my friends and family for support, but I knew something was still missing.

In my weeks of brainstorming, I dragged a local graphic design artist through the process with me. Poor girl, I must have driven her crazy with my ad-hoc ideas and thoughts, but as yet I had no brand to guide me. After the first few drafts, I felt the need to ask for a hummingbird graphic. A little lost, that poor hummingbird was, until I realized that what my heart was really saying was already in front of me. I'd name the business after my spirit animal, the little bird with the amazing powers. Thus, Hummingbird Communications was born.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention why the hummingbird is so important in my life. I've always loved those little birds, I grew up hoping to see them fly nearby and wondered how they got so lucky to drink sugary water all day. As an adult, a few years ago, I saw a psychic who spoke about spirit guides, animals who help guide us through our day. She explained that the hummingbird was very much a part of my life and that my own personality was very similar. She told me to remember that just like the hummingbird, I also possessed special skills and abilities that were unique to others around me. That just like the hummingbird, which could fly both forwards and backwards, I too was capable of doing things that others could not, and needed to embrace my skills and believe in myself.

I was told to keep a hummingbird nearby, as it would remind me of my talents and keep me focused. The very next week I was at a local craft show and saw a little stained glass green and pink hummingbird. I promptly purchased the little piece of art and brought it home. She's currently hanging out in my laundry room, one of my 'thinking spots' and likely one of the only places in the house no-one looks for me.

Today I ran into a friend of mine who I met through Leadership Niagara last year. I just knew we were meant to meet, but today she really confirmed that for me. We ran into each other through the St. Catharines Early Years program, which toured the local #6 fire hall this morning. We had no idea the other would be there, but the moment she saw me she said she had something for me. She gave me a little square of text, one she'd been keeping in her purse and recently found. It said:

From Jess, the perfect reminder. Thank you.

"Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying out our hopes for love, joy and celebration. Like a hummingbird, we aspire to hover and savor each moment as it passes, embrace all that life has to offer and to celebrate the joy of everyday. The hummingbird's delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life's sweetest creation."

Goosebumps yet?

I'm so proud to share my newest, youngest child, with each of you: http://hummingbirdcommunications.ca/

P

PS: Thanks to my incredible husband for believing in my instincts, deciphering html code and most of all for keeping me company late at night when I'm working. Here's hoping my little hummingbird business cards and web site lead to plenty of projects, more late nights and the ability to celebrate every day at home with my kids.

Four life lessons learned from my four year old.

Tomorrow marks a special occasion - my son Nolan's fourth birthday. I'm really struggling with this one, it seems like only yesterday he was my 'little babah', swaddled in my arms, snuggling on my chest. Here we are now, a mere two months away from his first day of junior kindergarten. Seriously, where has the time gone?

Life with Nolan has been nothing short of a roller coaster. From a calm baby to a rambuncious toddler, on to a stubborn preschooler and now, well, I'd suggest he's become quite the negotiator these days. Every question begs for an explanation as to why he should be allowed to (fill-in-the-blank here). He's an eager communicator, chatterbox some say, unless of course his favorite show is on TV. That's about our only quiet time these days :)

As I look back on the last four years, I'd like to think I've taught Nolan a trick or two. How to drink from straw, wash his hands and make his bed. How to ask for help, use his manners and give really great hugs. Funny thing is, as I reflect I realize he's taught me some valuable lessons, too. In honour of his fourth, here's a list of the top four things he's taught me:

Number four:


Cutest. Costume. Ever.

It's fun to play dress-up once in awhile! Nolan is such a free spirit, he often surprises Jay and I by walking into the family room dressed in his giraffe Halloween costume. It's hilarious and he knows it, often leaving our entire family in happy tears on the floor. Just yesterday he received a fantastic knit firefighter hat... he's had it on ever since, even in the summer heat! It didn't matter to him that he looked different, or that it was funny, he was just happy being himself.


Yup, McDonalds. His favorite place. In his new hat.

What a cool kid and a cool idea. I bet on those crappy, cranky days we'd have much better luck making ourselves smile if we wore an ugly tie (I found a few doozies in Jay's wardrobe pre-dating our marriage), a retro coat (think circa 1993 surf-sytle hypercolour popovers) or perhaps just donned a ridiculous goofy hat with ears before paying the bills. Laughter is the best family medicine, thanks to Nolan's lead I'm going to try this more often.

Number three:
Little things mean more! What surprises me most about Nolan is his uncanny ability to appreciate life's little things. It's a bird digging for worms, an airplane's loud engine off in the distance sky, the way he lights up when his sister shares her snack and most of all the way a siren of any kind, at any pitch, can send him screaming 'did you hear that!' wherever we go.


Absolutely nuts for sirens, at his first parade.

Why is it that as adults we lose our ability to appreciate such simple gifts? My mom always says, 'little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.' The beauty is that little kids also appreciate all the little joys around them. Everything is a new adventure, every day an exciting new challenge.  My goal is to stop and enjoy these little gifts WITH him, double the joy and fun.

Number two:
Eat your veggies - raw! I've never seen a child eat raw veggies quite like my son. Every colour, shape and size, it doesn't really matter to him. He DEVOURS them. Enjoys every mouthful. Sometimes I swear I can see the vitamins and minerals nourishing his already-healthy complexion even more. I've never been a huge raw veggie eater, however seeing him eat such a naturally healthy, wholesome food reminds me that I can do a better job myself. In this case my son is modelling the way for me.


Plate loaded with veggies at his party!

and the number one thing Nolan has taught me is...

There are a million ways to tell someone you love them! Forget a million, it's likely at a zillion by now. Nolan tells me every day, in every way, that I am loved. From the moment he runs into my room each morning to hug me I know that our love is both deep-rooted and mutal. He holds my hand, cuddles in my lap, begs for me to read him stories and calls for me the moment he's hurt. He shares his accomplishments, demonstrates his new skills and belts out top 40 hits every morning at breakfast while we laugh and dance.

A few weeks ago at bedtime we snuggled into his bed and talked about 'big boy school'. I was telling him how much he was going to love it, how he'd learn so many new things and meet new friends in his class. I told him how proud I was of him, but that I was going to miss him. At that moment he rested his hand on my head, looked me square in the eyes and said, 'I'll still love you when I go to big boy school mama." Talk about love. What a kid.

Happy 4th birthday to my not-so-little Babah, my Noly, my handsome, empathetic son Nolan. Mommy loves you more than you could ever imagine possible.
xo

And in a flash, she turns two.

Today we had a 'pretend birthday' party for our youngest, precious little girl Brooklyn. Pretend because her official birthday is a few days away, real in every other sense of the word. Seeing her so happy to be surrounded by her family and friends, opening gifts and looking at her Dora cake got me thinking about how far she's come....

The summer before I got pregnant, I went on my first trip to NYC. Sitting atop the classic red, double-decker bus sightseeing around the city I began to notice the signage everywhere - Brooklyn. I remember pulling out my phone, considering the cost of messaging my husband and deciding it was worth it. "If we have a daughter, we should call her Brooklyn" I had said, I just thought the name was so beautiful.

That fall we were fortunate to conceive. Fast forward to the 20 week mark, we found out we were having a  girl. Elated, the name game began. We both agreed to not share our short list with family or friends, we knew how opinionated others could be so we essentially left it up to our son Nolan to figure it out. We spent weeks asking him to say "Abby", as I'd always envisioned a daughter named Abigail. After about six weeks we felt like it was getting old, instead opting to hear him say "B".

Before we knew it, my husband Jay had nicknamed the baby "Dodger" (get it?) and we spent the last trimester of my pregnancy secretly laughing every time someone said we must have chosen Abigail. We knew she'd be a Brooklyn, without a doubt.

The day she came into this world, my heart skipped a beat. Many parents of one child worry that they couldn't possibly 'have room' to love another. Quite honestly, the moment I laid eyes on her my love grew tenfold and my life changed forever.

Brooklyn was a very fussy baby. I remember the first night she was born barely sleeping because she was crying and seemed uncomfortable. I remember thinking, I don't recall Nolan being this way, in fact I think I had to set my phone alarm to wake myself up to feed him. Not the case with my little princess. Little did I know she was going to be a bigger handful than I imagined!

Brooklyn Amelia Isaak. Ten days old, taken by her very talented Nanna 'Fire Truck.'

I took a trip down memory lane this week (thanks facebook timeline) and found these old status updates, they basically tell the story:

"Wonders if you've found my patience? I lost it, can't seem to find it... hmm..." - August 2010

"Colicky baby makes Pam go something something... crazy? Don't mind if I do... "- September 2010

"Is totally and utterly exhausted. Done. Well done. Overcooked." - September 2010

"Endured two hours of steady screaming until Brooklyn's first two teeth broke the gum line this am... dear God help me if this happens every time!" - September 2010

"Knows Brooklyn would win the award for loudest, most deafening screams... after hearing hours I've it, I'm utterly convinced... and I'm pretty sure I've lost my ability to hear properly" - September 2010

"Would like to drop kick infant colic and immunizations in the mommy-daddy button... over and over and over again..." - October 2010

"Has enjoyed an exceptional weekend... to be topped off with an early dinner out with Jay... thanks Michelle, Joel and Addi and Sama and Grandpa too! After a weekend like this, I still don't want more kiddies, but I can definitely see the light at the end of this very long colic tunnel :) - October 2010

"Was told today by two perfect strangers that I have a smiley, happy girl. It filled my heart with such joy... we've come a LONG way in 8.5 months..." - February 2011

I walked around, Brooklyn spawled across my forearm, for the first five months of her life. It was insanity. Complete insanity. I spent most days crying, most nights angry with her and most weekends fending off requests to 'get back to normal and get out of the house' because mentally and spiritually I was drained to the point of exhaustion. I felt robbed, I rarely enjoyed her company and lacked the bond I easily established with her brother.

Suffice to say our first year with Brooklyn was one of the most difficult, life changing events to date in my life. I worry more. I sleep less soundly. I panic over things I never cared about previously. Colic has a funny way of changing a person, it's definitely not just something you 'get over'.

Fast forward again and we're celebrating her second birthday. A Dora-themed bash, it was simple yet incredibly enjoyable. She was very delighted by her cake, and even more so by her new gifts.

Here's a picture of Jay, Brookie and I after singing Happy Birthday. I promise she was happier than in this photo!



Now a smart, hilarious two year old, Brooklyn is nothing like her former infant self. She is a confident risk-taker, and a naturally caring and nurturing little girl. Her smile in infectious, her laughter is like sunshine and her hugs, oh her hugs will melt your heart. She completed my life in a way I never thought possible, allowing Jay and I to confidently call ourselves a family.

She's often my shadow, calls out for me at least a thousand times a day and shares with me the very same bond I share with my almost four year old son. My, how times have changed.

I really couldn't be more fortunate. I really couldn't be more in love.

Happy Birthday baby girl, daddy's little 'munchie'. Mama loves you very much.
xo







PS: As an afterthought, this article really spoke to me in the midst of Brookie's colic. A worthwhile article for everyone who ever dealt with colic “Our Son Got over Colic, We Haven’t: The real damage in dealing with a crying baby” http://www.babble.com/baby/baby-health-safety/colic-dealing-with-crying-baby-harm-to-parents/ A copy of this article is safely tucked away in Brooklyn's memory box, although I hope she never needs to read or sympathize with it.

If we all did just did a little...

This week I was a bit of a nut-case... just ask my husband.

The second annual Niagara Nutrition Partners Breakfast Gala was on Thursday, an event that drew over 230 guests, nine high school culinary programs and raised over $17,000 and counting.

Amazing right. I agree.

In my former position at PenFinancial, community relations was part of my job, hence the reason I initially got involved. It was an easy fit for me as I love what they do for over 13,000 children daily around Niagara. The government funds a measly 15% of any student nutrition program (breakfast, snack, lunch) therefore it's up to NNP and the schools themselves to apply for grants and fundraise the remaining dollars. No small task given there's almost 150 Niagara schools alone running programs.

My skill set in marketing, communications, PR and event planning were useful in this setting, and I was happy to oblige. A problem arose, however, once I left the Credit Union to be home with my kiddies. My time was stretched to the max, with less opportunity (and still other commitments) to fill it with. I barely made it out alive this week, and while I am uber proud of our event, I've been left with a few thoughts to mull around this long weekend.

First, how lucky was I to have a (former) employer who believed in me and my community enough to let me spend some of my volunteer hours 'on the clock'? I never wished or desired for payment, for me it was about finding the time to get it all in. Completing this project from home was one of the most difficult tests of my time management skills to date. I wish more Niagara organizations allowed their employees to lend their time, skill and expertise to the hundreds of local not-for-profits in need.

Secondly, I have a freakin' amazing husband. The poor guy barely saw me the last two weeks, as I ran from meeting to meeting in the evening, on the phone with other Committee members and ultimately sat at my PC writing agendas, scripts, press releases and answered emails. He endured many solo bedtimes listening to my kids cry 'mama', washed many a dish more than usual and waited nearly three weeks to see the Avengers because I needed to be out of the house. His first words to me after my event ended yesterday were, 'Welcome Back.' Enough said.

Finally, what will it take to get more people involved? I am a firm and very big advocate for volunteerism, and I believe that every single person has the ability to give a little of their time.

Maybe your an esthetician. Did you know that Hospice Niagara looks for people just like you to give an hour or two of you time to their end of life patients at day hospice?

Maybe you love to walk your dog! Why not volunteer once a week at the Humane Society to give a pooch some love?

Maybe you love to drive! Meals on Wheels delivers food daily to people who can't otherwise get out for food or cook. I'm guessing this is a few hours a month commitment.

Great singer? Most seniors homes wish for entertainers to walk to their doors and agree to sing for an hour or two once a month.

Accountant or financial planner? Not for profit boards are begging for your expertise and opinion.

The list goes on and on. Everyone has something to give - their skills, expertise, passion or maybe even just their ear to listen.

And if we all did just a little... than the little wouldn't have to do alot.

Consider volunteering. Today.

The Sweet Spot

I think about it every day. Every night. I send prayers of thanks. I gush to my husband.

I LOVE THIS!

Today marks the end of my third week at home with the kids. Three weeks already, I know right! I wasn't really sure what to expect being home every day - would I regret my decision? Would I wish for work and 'adult' conversation? Would I run out of things to do?

All that worry was for nothing. We're plenty busy, I am absolutely shocked however I really don't miss the day-to-day grind as I expected to and without question I do not regret my decision for one second. Not one.

Some little changes I've observed:
- the kids stay up a little later as they can nap and sleep in as they wish (this is great for Daddy, who has some additional 'bought' time with them)
- my back and neck rarely hurt. Interesting how stress always drove right into my neck and shoulder muscles. I haven't felt ANYTHING in three weeks! And that little back episode I had in January? No sign of anything like it.
- Nolan's meltdowns are fewer in duration and frequency. Thank God for this one!
- Once important tasks fall by the wayside more often, in favor of time for myself, my kids and my marriage. My desk is still a mess at home (I promise I'll clean soon honey!) yet it bothers me less than ever before.

I've also been privvy to many moments of beauty as my children interact and care for each other. Don't get me wrong, they fight like cats and dogs all day, but there is deep real love shared between them. At a photo session this morning, Brooklyn was scared of the fuzzy bunnies used as photo props. Without question Nolan stepped in, spoke to his 'princess' and told her it was ok and let's do it together. Talk about melting my heart! The photographer even quipped, "He's an amazing big brother. You've done something so right with that little guy!"

I think I've found the sweet spot. It's nestled between my two little monkeys.

How do I ever thank you. All of you.

Well, it's official. My time has come to an end with PenFinancial. Call me a stay-at-home mom. Call me unemployed. Call me broke. Most of all, call me lucky.

Last night I was blessed and very humbled to sit around a table of my peers who came out in my honour. It was so incredible to be surrounded by such good-hearted people, the kind you hope to work with and call your friends. It was a fun night, but one particular moment stuck out the most.

As I was saying goodbye to a co-worker of mine, she told me the story of her daughter's reaction to her attending my going away party. Her daughter, nine years old, said 'Oh, Pam's retiring?' to which my co-worker said, 'No honey, she's going to stay home to take care of Nolan and Brooklyn." Her daughter replied, "They are the luckiest kids to have their mommy home with them."

Wow right. My eyes filled with tears, and so did my co-worker's. What a gentle, yet powerful reminder of how much moms and dads mean to the children they parent. I've more often considered this my personal gain for capitalizing on this special time, these early childhood years. But my co-worker's daughter reminded me that my children are also lucky to have me at their side - through the good and the bad. There is no greater cheerleader than a parent to their child.

I'm not sure I'll be able to properly give thanks to all who have made this transition a positive and uplifting experience. Considering tomorrow is the Oscars, maybe I'll attempt the ever-popular knapkin speech...

First of all, I'd like to thank God, for granting me the serenity to accept the things I could not change, the courage to change the things I could, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Secondly, I'd like to thank everyone at PenFinancial Credit Union. The laughter was infectious, the food was mostly fattening, the conversations enlightening. It truly was a great place to work. A culture entrenched in co-operative, family values which encouraged my personal growth, supported flexibility to raise my family and ultimately empowered me make a positive impact in Niagara.

I'd also like to thank my mentor, she knows who she is, for being an incredible women - at once powerful and caring, kind and incredibly hard-working. Your unwaivering support and friendship were never taken for granted. For all you did, thank you. Much love.

To my family and friends - for the retirement cake and bonbons, the laughter, flowers and supportive conversations. Your strength brought me closer to my ultimate goal. You knew before I did that I needed to step away from my career, yet you never 'took sides.'  Instead you let me work through it, listening always and never judging. More than ever I can say with great certainty - family is everything.

To my husband - I quit. Sorry, are you just hearing this now? No really, I've never felt more loved or supported than today. You have no idea how it makes me feel to hear the words 'I am so proud of you for doing this" - and you've said in numerous times in the last few weeks. Love love love. And then some.

Finally, to my kids - Mommy is so very excited. You may not see your friends from school for a long while, but I can promise you many more days of fun, of laughter, and of cuddles. When you are sick - you'll rest in your own bed. When you are hot - we'll jump in our pool together. When you are hungry - we'll find a snack in the cupboard. When you are sad - my arms will wrap around you tightly, and you will know then and forever that nothing cannot be mended in the arms of Mama. xo

So there you have it. Sure wish I had the dress to go with it :)