Kindness in the Chaos

I am three weeks into my new position, and as expected, we are hitting some bumps in the road. The timing of this transition couldn’t be worse, as we are knee deep in summer sports and out of the house pretty much every night of the week.

The kids are super tired.
My brain is on overload.
Jay and I have had very little quality time together.

Change, as always, takes time.

I am still firm in my belief that this is the right time.
Right position.
Right reason.

As I keep swimming, head just above water, something heart warming happened this week.

I ran to the local drug store for a few items, my boys in tow. At the checkout, Nolan asked for a pack of gum (he has always been an opportunist). I wanted to resist, but such a simple request was really no reason to do so. The gum landed in my pile and as the last item was scanned, he asked for a second pack.

‘For Brooklyn’, he said earnestly. 

And so I bought two overpriced packs of gum, and we went home to pack up and leave for another baseball game. Later than night, I found this on the window sill of Brooklyn’s room:

It made me smile.

The crazy melted off my face.

We are a family of note leavers.
Sign makers.
Love sharers.

And here, despite the chaos, was a little piece of sibling love.

My heart sang.

Life is so good, if we just stop and see it.

The next morning I left for a full day of baseball fun in the sun with Nolan. Brooklyn, Ethan and Jay stayed home. As a very close family, we truly dislike being in two places, as logical and wise as we know these decisions are for our sanity and wellness.

All of us had a great day, but we missed each other like crazy.

When I stepped in the door last night, this was on the kitchen table.

  

Oh my heart.

Despite the migranes.

Arguments.

Exhaustion.

Overly busy week.

Here was this little piece of love and kindness.
A small exchange of big feelings.
A reminder that the little things, always matter.

Especially in the chaos.

It won't be long

The last few weeks have been increasingly difficult for me. My mama strength is depleted, leaving me exhausted and low on patience. After a particularly exhausting dinner on Monday, my dear mother pointed out that I should enjoy the insanity as someday the silence would sound deafening. It got me to thinking...

I should embrace the meltdowns at dinner time, because it won't be long before she is too worried about her weight to eat.

I should embrace his face all lit up when he talks about fire trucks, because it won't be long before video games become his favourite pastime.

I should embrace the early morning baby feedings, because it won't be long before our quiet cuddles are replaced with sleepovers away from home.

I should embrace the meltdowns over who gets to wash their hands first, and in which bathroom, because it won't be long before they aren't home at lunch to eat together.

I should embrace the tears over unwelcome meals, broken lego and bedtime, because it won't be long before tears are shed over first loves, first lovers squarrels and first loves lost.

I should embrace the dark circles and puffy eyes from the very little, broken sleep patterns of these early years, because it won't be long before missed curfews and drunken experiments leave crows feet and worry lines.

I should embrace the chaotic sounds of three children talking over one another, because it won't be long before they don't want to talk to each other, or me, at all.

Most of all, I realize I should embrace the now.

I will move from 'should' to 'will' embrace our crazy, chaotic life. I will accept and find peace in knowing my children are smart, confident and loving in every way.

Mom - you always know just what to say.
xo