We are now ending our ninth month of pandemic life.
It's wild, right?
I marvel at how different the world continues to be.
My experience has been full of questioning, wondering, worrying, ruminating and even falling apart a few times here and there, as the weight of this experience has changed so much of our family life.
Nine months working from home, without the collaboration and friendship of my co-workers.
Nine months of holding back hugs, kisses and other acts of authentic love from my heart.
Nine months without hosting a single party, get together or birthday celebration.
Nine months since I had the people I love, in my home.
Nine months of reminding my kids to wash their hands a million times a day.
It's been a long nine months.
Lately I've been struck by the different perspectives, lived experiences and concerns of the people I care about. Some have said they don't feel uprooted by the pandemic, others mildly inconvenienced and more still a great majority are feeling burnt out, depressed, anxious and overwhelmed.
I think it's safe to say this pandemic has pushed many of us to unhealthy emotional states, like it or not. I know I have leaned deeply into my self-care practice, and there are still some days where I feel like I cannot keep it together for a moment longer.
This has been so friggin' hard.
So hard.
Waves wash over me.
Days of exhaustion.
Crazy dreams.
Mannequin-like moments,
Unable to move.
Frozen.
Parenting during a pandemic, in my experience, means questioning even the small every day things I was used to taking for granted like...
Kids playing basketball together.
Driving friends around in my van.
Online chats and gaming.
How many school sweaters to buy.
At times paralyzing, this pandemic has proven once again that life can change in a heartbeat, and we have no control over it's timing.
But then this happened...
This afternoon, as I sat with Brookie preparing a surprise for some friends, I stopped dead in my tracks when I read a simple message from a neighbourhood friend:
"I just had Nolan come in. He's a lovely boy. You should be super proud of him."
I'm teary again, as I type this.
You see, today I let him hang out with a small group of boys from his school. They rode bikes, played basketball and stopped at a local corner store for a treat. They had the good fortune of just being kids, aside from my requests to sanitize and be safe. They had a relatively normal afternoon.
My awkward, sweet 12 year old pre-teen bought a treat and paid for it himself.
He did good. Really good.
Today, despite a pandemic, my friend took a moment to share positive words with me. She had no idea I was agonizing over his safety, or worrying he would be disrespectful in public or gluttonous in his purchase. Today she thought of me, and took a few moments to reach out.
Today she lifted my weary soul.
And this, this is the way forward during this difficult, sometimes divisive time.
We must reach out.
Be proactive.
Thoughtful.
Check in.
Share a positive note,
Warm reflection,
Quick love story.
We need to lift up every single person we love.
Find and support the weary hearts.
Prioritize love.
BE LOVE.
Because the pandemic isn't over and the world keeps turning, the bills keep coming, the kids keep growing up and we continue to live our lives, for the most part.
So DO LOVE, this week.
Reach beyond your own challenging life to envelop a weary heart in loving kindness.
xoxo
