Cruise Control

I'm often asked why I 'only' work part time. 

I've been told its not right, not best for my family for me to 'waste' my education and experience. 

I've been told I should strive for more money.

A bigger house. More frequent vacations.

Nicer brand name clothing and renovations to our aging home.

I've been told I'm not enough.

Inferred lazy.

Less than.

I've been told my kids need to 'suck it up' and go to day care like 'most kids do'. I've been told they will never survive the 'real world' when they get older if I continue to 'coddle them' by being home more than the average mom.

I've been told many not so nice things. Been judged. 

Questioned myself repeatedly for my choices as a mother.

Spent many days wondering if I'm doing it all wrong.

Then, you know what?

Days like today happen.

Epic full driveway hopscotch made by three awesome kids.

And this is what matters.

This is the privilege I am witness to.

Time at home afterschool to unwind.

Unstructured play.

Sibling friendships.

You see, our family has lived with plenty of fear the last three years.

Cancer. 

Anaphylaxis.

Home invasion.

My kids worry about dying.

Being without one another.

Eating food that makes them sick.

Going to the hospital.

Coming home to another broken front door and missing piggy banks.

Robbers.

My kids have been through enough to know what makes them feel safe, and what doesn't.

Home, together, is their happy place.

Second only to, together, on an adventure.

So for now I will continue to trade money for time. 

Career advancement for memories.

Fast track for cruise control.

And someday when they've all left the nest perhaps I'll climb that ladder, pursue that masters or even purchase that indulgence I've daydreamed of owning.

Until then, I do not apologize.

I've taken the path less travelled for good reason.

We are anchored at home.

Appreciate life more than most.

Feel Safe.

Today I am grateful for the privilege of cruise control.

Three healthy kids.

One amazing husband.

An afterschool spent at home.

We all make choices.

This is mine. Ours.