The lump, tests, angels and God: talking to our little ones

A great many of our friends and family have expressed worry over what to say to their little ones, as well as to Brooklyn and her siblings. I thought I would share what we've said to date, in case it helps anyone:

Brooklyn has a lump in her belly. The lump shouldn't be there, and even though we cannot see it, it is inside of her. The doctors are doing lots of tests and taking lots of pictures to try and figure out what kind of lump it is - the name of it - so that they can come up with a plan to remove it.

It may involve more medicine, it may involve more surgery, or a combination of those things. We don't know yet. We may even have to sleep at the hospital for awhile, as we did last week.

It's ok to be scared. It's ok to be angry. It's ok to want to scream and yell and cry and be quiet and not talk at all. All of those feeling are ok, but we've told all three of the kids they are absolutely NOT alone, that we all feel the same way and are all looking forward to Brookie being well again.

On Thursday, Nolan asked us how it got there.

Good question.
That one caught Jay and I both off guard, and so we answered like this:

Inside of our body, there are cells. Sometimes those cells can become confused and grow into things they are not supposed to grow into. Brooklyn's lump is a group of cells that grew in her belly, but they should not be there. We need to remove the lump in order to make Brooklyn better.

It's not Brooklyn's fault, or anyone's fault, that these cells grew in her belly. All we can do now is wait for the doctors to come up with a plan to make her all better.

As you can see, we haven't mentioned the big 'C' word yet, partially because it is not an official diagnosis, and partially because hypothetical statements will only cause anxiety and worry in our kids. We know this all too well, we've been living with it for two weeks now.

We will wait until all the facts are known before telling them any more.

A few well-meaning people have recently said to Brooklyn, "We are happy that you are all better." This is an incorrect statement, and we politely ask that you refrain from saying this to her.

She is taking a break from the hospital for a few days, until the doctors come up with a plan to help her. She is resting, healing and playing with her friends at school because those things feel good and are good for her to do. It is safe for her to play, and we are happy to see her go to school.

Finally, I've talked to her a lot about God and angels:

Angels can help you, when you are feeling sad or lonely or worried. Its important to ask your angels to help you. You can talk quietly to yourself, write them a letter or just say the words in your head. Mommy has been calling on all our family angels to surround us with love, white light and protection as we live each day.

God is also watching over you. We don't know why you have to go through this, but we know that God has made you a strong and beautiful girl capable of getting through whatever we have to do in order to be well again. We trust in God, even though this is the hardest thing we've ever had to do.

I hope this helps a few of you. Please encourage your kids to play with Brooklyn, love her up and tell her how much they missed seeing her. She's a beautiful five year old whose soul is fueled by spending time with her friends and family.

#TeamBrookie #WarriorPrincess